Sometimes, in life, you hit a wall. Maybe something tragic happened, maybe you're losing motivation for whatever it is you thought you wanted to do with your life, or maybe you're just simply unhappy.
You might experience feelings of hopelessness, anxiety, depression, lethargy; the list is endless. You might struggle to get out of bed or struggle to eat properly. Junk food in bed and heartbreak do make a perfect combination, after all.
But after a while, you'll think to yourself, "I don't want to feel like this anymore." Well, at least I hope you'll get to that point. So, what can you do?
Find yourself.
I'm not talking about making rash decisions, radicalising your life. No, not like that.
Just sit with yourself. Most people don't make space for real, concentrated reflection. Reflect on times when you felt truly happy or truly free. What were you doing? And with whom? Reflect on things you said you'd do, but didn't, perhaps due to external factors or influences. Why did you hold back?
I got a tattoo recently. I've had so many people ask me for an explanation of its meaning, which I am happy to give. But when I'm done explaining, I receive a horrified look, often followed by a comment like, "That's morbid" or "That's really depressing."
I got 'Memento Mori' tattooed just under my chest, on the top section of my ribcage. 'Memento Mori' is a quote that I saw a little while ago, and it really resonated with me.
'Remember, you must die'. This is the translation of the quote in English. Upon first hearing it, I understand how it sounds. The quote was often said by slaves or servants to Roman warriors at the end of battles. When the Roman army would overcome their opponents, high-ranking warriors would be told 'Memento Mori' in their ear, to remind them no matter how glorious their victory, and how much of this earth they cover, they cannot defeat death.
It became a very common saying and was used to keep people humble and grounded. It is also a reminder to be the best version of yourself, or at least build towards it, because our time is limited. The truth is, the only thing we are promised in life is death.
This is one of those things I was talking about when I said not doing something because of external factors. I held off on it for a while for fear of how I might be perceived.
But recently I've decided to make a change. I'm going to follow my heart. What feels right to me, I'll do. I'm not going to live for other people anymore.
And I encourage you, if you're reading this, to do the same. I've never felt better. I've never felt more alive than right now, and all I did was start living for me. Doing things I want to do.
That doesn't mean stop being thoughtful. Still think of others. Still do nice things for people. What I mean is, don't hold back anymore. Don't do things out of fear of judgment by other people. Don't be worried about what your parents think. At the end of the day, if they can't learn to respect your wishes, that isn't your fault. That's something they need to work on. Same as friends. If your friends can't be unhappy with a decision you make and still respect you just as much as they did prior, that isn't a friend. Obviously, context matters. If you burn down an orphanage or commit atrocities, of course, it would be a different story.
When it comes to who you love, where you want to live, the music you listen to, the tattoos you get, the clothes you buy, and what you post on social media. Just express yourself. Nothing demands more respect than someone who lives on their own terms.
Don't worry about what parents, friends, or people online think about your choices. Love who you want to love, and indulge in what you want to indulge in.
It's daunting to take that first step. But I promise, once you take that plunge, you'll see what I'm talking about.
Life is far too short to live it for other people.
Live it for you.
A great perspective to have my man.