Let’s all be honest; life is difficult. You could be doing amazing one moment, completely terribly in another, and the next day you might be right in between. Despite contrary opinion, it is near impossible to be happy at all times. You can have the right mindset, control of your thoughts and emotions, and life can still get you down.
What also doesn’t help is the sheer unrelenting amount of life advice out there on the internet. I, for one, have fallen victim to the easy thought of turning to the internet for life advice. It is incredibly difficult to form a moral code built from the advice of mental health micro influencers. One person might tell you to go with the flow, let your emotions take over, they are human after all. However, the next may tell you that you must have a tight grip on your emotions, that you need to be in control, and if you are in control, they may claim you are unstoppable. While both approaches might work, you can’t do both. It comes down to a matter of choosing who you listen to.
This opens up a whole other mountain of complexities. You may go with option A) going with the flow. You might then run into the next influencer who will tell you that getting defensive in an argument with your significant other is an absolute no no. You simply must not do it. Now what? Can you go with the flow but make an exception? And what happens if the next person tells you something different. Will you change approaches again? Make another exception?
A lot of people believe we are advancing as a society in terms of mental health, mainly because it is being recognised more widely as an important factor of the human experience. I beg to differ. I think yes, we have advanced, in terms of recognition of the concept of mental health. In the mid to late 1900’s, mental health was “recognised”, but was slandered by many. Now, this is where it may get controversial. In terms of personal growth and mindset, I think this advancement has caused a major setback.
It has become extremely difficult to find genuinity in a person, massively due to the constant promotion of ‘healthy mindsets’, ‘red flags’ and ‘the ick’, to name a few examples. People can’t be themselves anymore. For the majority, people mould their character and personality on what seems popular at the time. Not only are there trends for clothing, but it seems there are now trends for how people think and act.
I am guilty of this myself. I will see a video on TikTok about how a person views life from a certain perspective and I’ll try to look through that lens. Why? Well, if the guy or girl with millions of followers says it’s right, it must be, right?
Many, many young people don’t have their own moral code. To me, your morals should be your system of belief. They shouldn’t change because your favourite YouTuber said so. They should be a consistent guideline as to how you live your life. I think this is part of the reason that people seem to contradict themselves in terms of belief. It can be hard to keep up with the latest trendy mindset.
In the 1970’s and 80’s, mental health was recognised, technically, but was not appreciated in the slightest. Now, while that might be a horrible thing, it also allowed for people to be individuals. There was no constant trauma dumping, no attention deficit in people, and there were less people in your head everyday telling you every which way to go with your life. Sure, your mum or dad or grandmother might have had something to say, or your mates, but you didn’t have a lady or man on TikTok telling you how to live your life.
If you go looking for it, I understand. You want advice, sure, go seek it out. But for the rest of us, who already have enough on their plate, we don’t need 20 inputs and 15 ideas on what to do with my money.
I am reading meditations right now, which is the culmination of journals written by Marcus Aurelius, who was a Roman emperor for around 20 years. This collection of writings is estimated to be from 170 to 180 CE. It is astounding to see where philosophy has gone from then to now. My favourite quote from meditations is, “The person who lives shortest owns the exact same amount of life as the one who lives longest. For the present is all we have and all we can lose. When we die, we don’t “lose” the past or future—we never owned them.”. This is such an incredible way to look at life. You can spend time worrying about what you have done, or what you will do in the future, but if you do, you pay the price of what you could be doing right now. You don’t hear things like this now. The sheer amount of micro influencers who are telling people all sorts of things is crazy. The issue with these platforms is that anyone can spread information, and unfortunately not everyone has the best intentions or the best advice.
I am not writing this to tell anyone to not listen to their favourite influencer, or to do exactly what their favourite influencer says. My intention in this piece is to tell whoever reads this, whether it’s 1 person or 1 million people, to follow what you want to do. I know, it sounds so cliche, and it sounds like everything else you hear on Tiktok or Instagram Reels. But honestly, the only thing that’s going to make you happy in this life is doing what your heart truly desires.
You may not know what that is yet, and that is completely fine. Don’t think too hard about it. You often find the harder you look for something, the longer it takes to find. Let it come to you, and it will. It might come fast, it might come slow. What’s important is that it will reach you one day. Try to live in the present moment. As Aurelius says, we never owned the past or future. We will only exist in them. What we can take control of is right now. If you know what you want to do in this life, don’t wait. Trust me, I wish I had started writing sooner, I’ve found my passion. It didn’t come to me instantly but it’s here now and I’m trying my best to act on it.
At the end of the day, whatever makes you happy and benefits you, is what you should strive for. We are on this earth for a short time in the grand scheme of things. My personal aim is to be content when death comes around. Death isn’t something to be scared of, it is a basic mechanism of nature. It will happen no matter how much you stress, so simply don’t. Someone who lives in the moment won’t be afraid of death, as they will be content with what they have done in the moments they made the most of. Be that person. Seize the moment.
If I was asked for advice, which I have been a few times, that is my advice. Do what you think is right. If it works, fantastic. If it doesn’t? Bad luck, give it another go. Live for the moment, and make the most of your short time on this earth. We don’t own the past or the future, but we can take charge of our time right now. And not everything you see or read or hear online is correct or the best advice for you. My advice might not be the best for you right now either. The best part about life is that you don’t have to take advice. You’re not forced to. If it aligns with your morals, take it. If it doesn’t. Don’t. You may take my advice, or you may not. That is your decision. Take charge of what you can control. And live your life for you, no one else.